This past weekend has been really important for my spiritual walk. For the last while I haven't really been able to connect with worship. I've been trying to figure out what I've been doing that's wrong, but I couldn't, then during Friday night Youth Celebration (once a month all of the youth cells come together for a joint worship service). They played the song Heart of Worship,
“I'm coming back to the heart of worship, It's all about you Jesus”
and that's when it clicked. It doesn't matter what I do, or how silly I look, it's not about me. The only thing that really matters is God. If I just focus on God then everything else just falls into place.
Later that evening, we split into areas, and we prated for the cell leaders, then Hein and his wife, prayed for all of the youth in our areas, and prophesied into our lives. When Hein prayed for me, he told me that God is saying “no excuses,” which really hit me, because I like to make excuses about why something goes wrong, I don't like to be accountable for my actions.
Hein also spoke into my life about my being here, and assured me that I am where God wants me to be, which was really reassuring because that is something that I have struggled with, I mean, I only have a highschool diploma, what good does that mean?
The Final thing Hein told me was that God is going to release into me a passion for the lost, which is good because I used to have a passion for that, but after six years in a school where everyone is either saved (the small minority), or are sick of religion (the vast majority) passion can die out.
The next night we went to prayer, and during it, they played a song which lyrics say
“The more I seek you, the more I find you,
The more I find you, the more I love you”
And that is so true, the more we seek God, the more we love him, and the more he works in our lives.
Then Sunday during Youth Service (there are three service at Breakthru: English, Zulu/English, and Youth), Pastor Russel (the head pastor) spoke about being on fire for christ, and afterwards asked people that haven't spoken in tongues before to come up to the front if they want to. I went up, and he prayed over us, and a lot of us started speaking in tongues which was really amazing. It's amazing because it's our spirits communicating directly with God, without our minds censuring what the spirit says. Then someone laid hands on me (I don't know who, my eyes were closed), and I instantly hit the ground, now I come from a charismatic church and I've felt the holy spirit before, but usually when I end up on the ground, I feel it coming, and I crumple to the ground , after trying to stay standing, this time I didn't have any warning, I was down on my back without warning!
During prayer that night, Pastor Russel again had people come up to the frond to be filled with the holy spirit, before going out this week to do evangelism, and again I went straight back again. But that wasn't the best part of of the prayer meeting, during the worship part, I felt a freedom to move like I've never felt before, and I just jumped, it was one of the most exhilirating feelings I've ever felt. I guess it's true what scripture says “Those who are free, are free indeed”.
Note to any current or former members of River of Life's Youth Ministry: Yes the title of this post was intentional
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